VLOG & video transcript:
The dance of right & wrong
The need to be right and make someone else wrong is an age-old dance. I’ll be honest. There is a part of me that REALLY enjoys being right. But what happens when I’m right? Inevitably someone else must then be wrong. Is that a fun dance for both of us? No. Maybe for one but, not the other.
A perfect platform that seems to support this dance of right and wrong, is Facebook. When I’m curious to see how deeply entrenched I am in this dance, all I have to do is observe my reactions while scrolling through my Facebook feed. In the world of Facebook, I can convince myself that I’m an expert in my own mind.
When I am willing to shift away from this perspective of needing to be right, I feel more peaceful. I do this by shifting away from thinking of my choices as “right/wrong” and viewing them as either loving choices or unloving choices. Then, I shift further by asking myself if the thoughts that I am entertaining are loving or unloving.
But, how can I tell if the choices I am making are loving or unloving? If the thoughts that I am thinking are loving or unloving?
By answering this very simple question: How am I feeling? When I think that something is right or wrong, I begin to feel disturbed, off or upset. When I am feeling disturbed, off or upset, I am choosing to think an unloving thought. When I am choosing an unloving thought, I am not feeling peaceful. When I realize this, I can choose to stay in that thought or choose to shift into another.
But what does that mean in layman’s terms? How can that be applied to an everyday life example? For fun, I’ll use scrolling through my Facebook feed to illustrate this.
Let’s say that I am scrolling through my Facebook feed and get bothered by a certain post. In other words, the post I see is expressing an opinion that I do not share. (Que the music for the “their view is wrong and mine is right” dance.)
Let’s say that I notice a post that bothers me. And I notice that it bothers me I believe that it was written by someone that is aggravated and as they express their aggravation, they are implying that anyone that disagrees with their view is stupid.
Notice that I used the words “I believe”? In that moment, I have a belief about them. I have judged them in my mind. In that moment, I am making their viewpoint wrong. In making them wrong, I am telling myself a story of them being wrong. It is a story that I’m choosing to make up about that particular person and that particular post.
story: a fictitious tale, shorter and less elaborate than a novel.
Then what happens? I hold this fictitious tale as being true and I start thinking a few more unloving thoughts and voila! I become aggravated. I then judge them for being stupid. I become what I have labeled them as being. This is how the circle of judgment works. I choose to perceive a person a certain way and then I end up embodying those qualities.
And what else happens? My heart closes (either a little bit or a lot) towards that person.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that the stories I tell myself create how I feel and how I feel impacts how I receive and treat another. And yet the lure to be right and make someone else wrong is SO FREAKING STRONG sometimes. SO. FREAKING. STRONG!
But what happened to that desire for peace that I stated at the beginning? This my friends, IS my ongoing Spiritual Practice. This practice starts with me being willing to recognize and accept that my thoughts are causing my upset. And that the most loving choice I can make, is to offer those thoughts over to Spirit and ask for help in letting that story go.
True acceptance is accepting that I am the one causing my own upset.
The loving choice is asking for Divine assistance in letting the upset go.
This practice is the practice of peace. It seems pretty straightforward, right? My own willingness and diligence to choose peace instead of my need to be right is the key. Some days are easier than others.
Each time I remember to practice, the better I feel and the better I feel, the more I choose to practice. My desire is for this to become my permanent “go to” point of view. That’s my new story and I’m sticking to it!