Photo by Gwendal Cottin on Unsplash
I can be snarky (irritable or short tempered). I’m willing to admit it. Taking responsibility for my actions and choosing love is my Spiritual path. I live by the proverb, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again.”
Recently my internet went out. Just stopped. I was in the middle of a meeting and had just been asked a question. At the time, I didn’t freak out like I normally would. I was able to remain calm. I didn’t get snippy while being on hold with customer service for over an hour. That in itself was a major accomplishment. Being transferred to 3 different people and having to explain the situation all over again.
I trusted. It ended up being an issue that could only be resolved by sending out a technician the next day. As luck would have it, I had agreed to water my friend’s plants that week and had access to a house with WIFI. And I was working at events for a few days so, my need for the internet was minimal.
I also got to see how many moving pieces were involved in fixing the problem. The technician arrived and could not do what needed to be done on day 1 of this adventure because:
Squirrels had chewed through the wire.
They had chewed through the wire that was in the attic of my building. (The technician had a handy dandy gizmo that told him that)
It was almost 6 pm and access to the attic required our onsite supervisor to let him in. He went off duty at 5 pm.
The attic was accessible through an upstairs neighbor’s apartment and required their permission first.
No one knew which apartment had access to the attic.
On day 2 of this adventure, my trust and my snark took turns being at the helm in my mind. Judgments galore were happening! I remember going for my morning walk and kvetching about it to Spirit. When I was done, I handed it all over to Spirit and a few minutes later my phone rang. The office had figured out where the attic access was and gained permission from the neighbor. All was set for the technician to arrive. All I had left to do was call the office when he did arrive, and they would call the onsite supervisor to come and let him into the attic.
The technician arrived. I called the rental office. No answer. I walked over. The door was locked with a sign that said, “Be back soon”. As I was walking away, internal snarkiness in full force, the door to the office opened and a frustrated woman peeked out and said, “I’m about to go into a meeting. Do you need something?” I snapped back: “Uhhhh Yeah! (drawing the words out while rolling my eyes) The internet guy is here. Please let the supervisor know he’s here.” The inner judge in me was lit up! That part of me was thinking, “It would’ve been WAY more simple to have called the supervisor myself! It's so stupid that I couldn't just have been given his number yesterday!” Then of course, as I walked away, guilt set in for the way I acted. Yes, my internet was not working. Yes there were alot of moving parts to the process. And the world was not ending.
The truth is snark happens. And when it does a feeling of guilt typically follows. So, I have started working with my snark differently. I say a prayer for both the receiver and giver (me) of said snark. It helps lift the guilt and surrounds everyone with love. So, as I was walking back to my apartment, I said this prayer:
I am grateful that she opened the door and the situation resolved itself.
I am grateful that she is calling the onsite supervisor.
I am grateful that this is being resolved.
I offer over all feelings of frustration and guilt for both of us and ask that they be dissolved and resolved now.
I claim acceptance, love, and forgiveness now.
May all pf those involved have a blessed day and feel loved, loving, and lovable. Amen.
Look, grouchiness is going to happen and that’s ok. Next time you feel your snark come out and then you start to feel bad about it, say a little prayer for both of you and notice how you feel.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again.
