Using What We Don't Like to Get What We Do

Often, during a spiritual counseling session, when I ask a client to envision the job, relationship, or situation, that they would like, they look at me with a blank expression on their face. It's a simple question. The blank stare happens because they've focused so much on what they don't like about what's happening that they've forgotten to make space for what they would like.

I get it. I used to be one of those people. I sometimes still put my focus on what I don’t want, don’t like, or what isn’t showing up. Now when that happens instead of getting stuck in that thought loop, I use those thoughts to my advantage. When I become aware of what I don’t like or what I’m complaining about, with curiosity and without judgement, I discover what I would like. When I become aware of what I would like, the Universe can then help support that desire.

Sometimes the building blocks to getting what we would like, begin with what we don't like.

Did you breathe a sigh of relief when you read that sentence? It’s true, complaints and criticisms can be used for our good. And when we're willing to look at them, we can shift the narrative.

For me, being spiritual doesn't mean that I’m not supposed to complain or get upset. It used to. Now, what it means is that I can use my complaints about what I don't like and shift into what I would like instead. This is a powerful technique that I use both personally and with the clients that come to me.

Within our thoughts of what we don't like are the building blocks for the life that we desire. For example, let’s say that I'm in a friendship with someone that I’m dissatisfied with because I think that this person never asks me questions and doesn't appear to listen. I start by looking at that complaint. I’m not feeling heard or seen. Within that complaint is my desire to feel seen and heard. How do I support others in feeling seen and heard? How do I support myself in feeling seen and heard?

When I’m willing to shift from complaining, into curiosity, and then embodiment, it comes back to me threefold. I've seen it happen again and again. When I stay stuck in my complaints and allow them to fester, I attract more situations to me to complain about. Complaints are just reminders for me to look at the situation differently.

Would you prefer to attract more of what you don’t like or more of what you would like into your life?

Here's to practicing attracting more of what we would like!