Who Are You Really? A Question for People-Pleasers Ready to Reclaim Their Truth

Who am I when I’m not trying to be who others want me to be?

If that question made you pause, you’re not alone. It’s one of the most powerful questions you can ask—especially if you’ve spent years (or decades) molding yourself to fit the expectations of others.

For people-pleasers, this question shakes loose the carefully crafted world we've created to feel accepted, safe, or successful. And it begins to peel back the layers of who we think we are… so we can remember who we’ve always been.

Whether you’re navigating midlife, shifting your career, or feeling spiritually disconnected despite “doing all the right things,” this question has the power to bring you home to yourself.

When we’re constantly adjusting ourselves to meet others’ expectations, we forget what we want, what we feel, and what we believe. We trade our inner knowing for external validation. That comes at a cost: time, energy, emotional and physical exhaustion.

Asking, Who am I when I’m not trying to be who others want me to be? is a spiritual reset, an invitation to:

• Reconnect with your intuition

• Reclaim your authenticity

• Realign your life with your true desires

  
  

Here's an Easy 3-Step Process to Begin Working with this Question

Step 1:

Journal Prompt: Set a timer for 10-15 Minutes and write and rewrite this prompt while filling it in until your timer goes off.

When I’m with others, I often feel I need to be ______ so they’ll ______.

Be honest and compassionate with yourself. This about awareness, not criticism and blame.

Step 2: Listen for Your Inner Truth

Once you've finished journaling, create space to hear your true self, your intuition. This part of you has been whispering to you under the noise of all these obligations and expectations.

Some ways of doing this include:

• Sitting in silence for 5 minutes and ask yourself: What do I want that I’m afraid to admit? Do this as a daily practice.

• Pulling a tarot card or oracle card to support the question. Let your intuition interpret the message, rather than your logical mind.

• Meditating.

Step 3: Take One Small Step

This doesn’t mean you have to burn everything down or shock everyone with a brand-new you. Returning to your authentic self happens in subtle, sacred steps.

Choose one small action that reflects your true self, even if it feels a little rebellious.

Examples:

• Say “no” to something you’d normally say “yes” to out of guilt.

• Speak your truth in a conversation, even if your voice shakes.

• Wear something that makes you feel good and not what others expect.

Remember: Each small step you take in alignment with your truth helps you release the stories you've built regarding the expectations of others.

Reclaiming who you are beneath the roles and people-pleasing patterns is not a one-time thing, it’s a life-long journey. But it’s a journey worth being on.

Because the real you—the intuitive, wise, whole you—is still in there. Not lost, just buried under years of performing.

So ask yourself again, gently and honestly:

Who am I when I’m not trying to be who others want me to be?

And let the answer unfold, one soulful step at a time.

If you would like some additional support with this process, book a session with me:

https://www.readingswithlorri.com/sessions

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Feel free to comment below with your thoughts on this blog or share your own experiences!

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