I’ve been fascinated lately by the way our personalities affect our lives. The circumstances and experiences during our formative years shape the way we react and respond as adults. As we adapt and grow, our personalities form and we create defenses to keep us safe. And these defenses when left unchecked, weave sticky webs that we continue to get tangled up in throughout our lives.
It reminds me of a quote by the early nineteenth century Scottish author, Sir Walter Scott:
Oh, what a tangled web we weave. When first we practice to deceive.
What this phrase means is that when we lie or act dishonestly, we are creating problems and a domino effect of complications in our lives. When we get lost in our defenses and allow shame, fear, and anger to run our lives, we are weaving a tangled web.
Understanding, accepting, and being curious about our defensive reactions, rather than judging them, is the doorway to our freedom. When we are curious about them, we create the space to create something new. Something filled with LOVE.
In my personal life, and at my lowest, my personality type tends to be withdrawn and looks to others to prove that I am worthy of love. My basic fear is that I don’t matter. My personality desires to be seen for who I am. It takes effort sometimes, when I am knee deep in my own story to recognize that others are in creating their own webs of inner turmoil.
In my professional life, I excel at supporting others. In my personal life, it tales effort. Why? Because in my professional life I am actively and continually connecting with Essence/Spirit to support others. In my personal life I tend to forget to connect as consistently for myself. I am willing and I am practicing this more and more.
When I can recognize that I am in my personality and looking outside of myself for reassurance, in that moment, I can connect with Spirit and choose again. I can take a breath, and rather than retreating into myself, I can listen attentively to a friend that is sharing something with me. I can become more actively engaged in the world around me. Recognizing when I’m feeling low and not make myself wrong for it, allows that part of myself that is creating that behavior and feeling ashamed, feel seen and heard. When that happens a shift occurs that takes me out of my thoughts of the past and allows me to be more present.
We all have different triggers and protective mechanisms that our personalities have developed. These are merely cobwebs across the doorway to our freedom.
Each day, I am humbled by clients that are curious and willing to clear away their own cobwebs. Getting to witness their growth is what makes me grateful for the job that I do.
Are you ready to clear some cobwebs?
If you are, book a session and I'd be happy to support you in clearing some of yours away.